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marathon year

How can a year go by so quickly? I am not sure I have ever experienced time disappear so fast. My life has changed so dramatically over the past year, and I often marvel at how difficult, yet freeing it has been. This year is a testament to the goodness of the Lord, the redeeming power of Jesus, and the tenacity of the Holy Spirit. A year ago, I could not have told you that I was going to be single, making a huge career change, and moving out of state. The fact that I am now, almost seems surreal. It’s a bittersweet time, one of hopefulness as well as uncertainty. One thing I am certain of though, is that the Lord will carry me on this new journey the same as He has on the last.

How wonderful it has been to discover my passion and things that make me feel alive. I have had this time to let go of boundaries that have kept me from being who I want to be. I’ve let a little impulsiveness in. I don’t always just agree with what someone suggests, I weigh their advice and my own thoughts and make my own decisions. I’ve stopped worrying as much about the future because I can’t predict it anyway, I can only trust. Even simple things like deciding that I don’t need to be girlie all the time is OK, and not wearing makeup is the way I like me to look. Dancing and running have given me outlets to be creative and move and make friends.

I had a choice to make: be timid or to have faith. I choose to have faith. By trusting that God is going to do more than I can even ask for, I am giving all the stress of needing to control my life to Him. The Spirit is so gentle and is so personal. He just wants to be my closest friend, and my best protector, and to lead me. It’s like if I had a husband for my spirit. Well, I guess He actually is! I rest in the fact that He is faithful to lead me in the journey He has for my life. It’s in these thoughts I find solace from the depressing shadows of fear, doubt, second-guessing, and anxiety.

This year is a new chapter of my journey and one that I am so excited to experience and share. It’s funny how the biggest changes He’s been making in my life have been right around Christmas and New Years for the past few years now. It’s no surprise that He has a wonderful sense of humor and  such an uncanny knack for timing!

 

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the long and short of it

The year has flown by, yet this time last year seems so far away. Here’s the short: I am no longer pursuing photography as a career. I am not in a relationship. I am not worried about the direction my life is going. I have had to learn to let these things go and to let God take over. Jesus has been holding my hand every step of the way, and without Him, I am totally and utterly lost.

Here’s the long: This year I have discovered (and rediscovered) a couple of big things. First, I discovered that I don’t want to live behind a desk and second, that I am often intimidated taking pictures of people. This led me to another discovery: I don’t want to be a photographer as my “job”. The biggest item on the list of discovery is the unearthing of my deep-rooted passion for plants and growing things. It’s something that has been with me since childhood. I figured out that I want to be a horticulturist. My dream (long -term, of course) is to someday own my own small farm and produce specialty veggies and fruits and flowers. I really love being outside and making something from nothing.

This year has not been easy. But it has been SO productive. I have grown in so many ways, and feel like I made a jump from kid-dom to adult-ness. I feel more grown up and I think differently than I did before. Even my emotional reactions have changed. The Lord has done miraculous things with me in this area, and has really been faithful to increase my self-control and patience. There is still so much He is doing in me, but I am excited to see what trials and triumphs He uses to complete that end!

My current goals are to complete more transfer hours of college course work and then apply as a transfer student to Texas A&M College of Agriculture and Life Sciences. I am very interested in their horticulture program and am hoping that they will be interested in me! I would really appreciate prayers regarding this. I also am going to begin to establish residency in Texas, which requires that I have a job. Prayers would also be more that appreciated that I would find a job, especially one that will help to boost my application to A&M. As far as other goals, I have been working on creating a new blog to try to pick up some odd jobs here and there. It’s called Domestic Genius and attempts to create the female equivalent of a handyman. There is still a lot of work to do on this project.

That’s about all for what the Lord is doing with me right now. I hope all of you are in good spirits and good health. If you need to contact me at my new address, my info is mostly the same. Only my address has changed. If you need it, shoot me an email at seedlinggirl88@yahoo.com. I’d love to get real letters from any of you that get a hankering to write some good old-fashioned mail! I promise I’ll write back if you do.

 

All my love; peace and blessings,

Ash

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