Here is the new blog everyone! After using Blogger for a long time (three years) a friend recommended WordPress and of course I moved when I saw how much I could finally make my blog really mine.
As some of you know, my life has had quite the happening year. I left for Texas at the beginning of the year intending just to go for a visit and have spent more time there than here at home. It’s been really great with lots of time to open up to friends and family and get to know them more. I’ve been struggling as well as triumphing over the fact that my life hasn’t ever followed the status quo. It’s been a revealing past few months with pains along the way, but pain always seems to bring some sort of lesson or realization with it, so I don’t mind it like I used to. I have discovered myself stronger than I used to be, and feel like I have more power to decide what my life is going to look like by following the Lord’s hand. I am slowly becoming less afraid of what others will think of my choices in life. Lately, I have been struggling with feeling helpless and useless. I have been staying with some close friends and helping them with chores around the house and cooking and cleaning. It’s like working for room and board I guess. I think because I have had some sort of job or another where I collected a paycheck, I feel like I must not be doing that much if I am not. Mrs. G. straightened me out the other day while I was having a little meltdown and feeling completely overwhelmed. She told me that what I was feeling was not founded in the truth of the matter. She gave me reasons and examples as to why I am not a burden in her house. I did make sense after she said it. Mr. G. echoed her thoughts later the next afternoon in a completely separate conversation. Then, my own mother explained how she and my dad feel. They are all fine with where I am, I am not a burden as I have felt, and they are all behind me in whatever I choose to do. I have noticed how the enemy really tries to take the good things that you know are true and distort them and blur them and hide them away in your own fog of doubt. He puts a veil of unreasonable, unrealistic, negative thinking in front of you and so all you can see is how bad everything must be. But, when you have friends and family who are strong in the Lord to help show you the truth, it will set you free. They began asking me logical questions about what was behind my fears and self-doubt. As I thought through their them, I realized how illogical my fears were!
I think of what I would be doing right now if my life had not taken a drastic turn at the beginning of the year. I might be here at home, alone, still shutting out the friends and family who were willing to offer guidance. I might not have discovered firsthand the Supreme Power of the Lord in being my Strength. I wouldn’t have had such a sweet time to deepen my relationship with Mrs. G. I would probably be feeling more and more helpless as the months went on, sorry for where I was and completely without motivation to find a way out. Not much would be happening in my life. But here I am and Praise God for His divine plans and power to save!